The Boy Who Cried Wolfe

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

You all know the tale. The tale that spins the moral "there is no believing a liar even when he speaks the truth." I like that, but this story posed a possibility for another moral. In one of the final action lines I make the statement just as the Aesop's version states at the end of the original fable. This is the Grimm tale of the Boy Who Cried Wolf...

Adapted for the screen.

[Righteous]

I thought it was a very good take on the originals. The pace of the action was well phrased, making me want to keep reading. I like when you build up a climactic scene and make ordinary words become more and more intense.
The end was kind of a shock, but a good one at that. I think this would make a great short.

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

"I like when you build up a climactic scene and make ordinary words become more and more intense."

Which scene exactly?

[Righteous]

"EXT. FOREST – NIGHT" at the top of page 8.
then
"EXT. GROVE HILL: OUTSKIRTS – NIGHT" to the bottom of page 9.
Also, when the shepherd sleeps in and the blacksmith sits and waits to talk to him; Like a standoff, it produces a lot of tension.

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

EDIT !! Actually I decided to change it again. My problem with it was the lack of protagonist in the end. I set up the boy and don't deliver. The gold is a really versatile device as I use it three different ways now. But if you read from the barn to the end, it's a little different than it was before.

Redownload the file to see. I edited that post too