The Legend of Spring-Heel Jack

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

I'm 10 pages into a feature-length screenplay by the working title "The Legend of Spring-Heel Jack". It's based on a folklegend considered to be hoax in Victorian Era London. Spring-Heel Jack is a notorious name already in London, the police know the name as nothing more than a scapegoat for people to blame while real criminals get away.

We begin on a young thief who's spent his whole life thieving. He comes across a situation where he burglarizes a manor. Routine job, he knows the handmaiden (who he's seduced presumably). All she needs to do is deliver a story of violent offenders to the lord and lady. The thieves never need to lift a finger, just goods. However, she has a lot of spunk so she decides to play with them by making him out to be the notorious Spring-Heel Jack.

Now the public cries for an investigation and so the police put someone to simply disprove the character. If the hoax is out there, more crimes will be blamed on him, more investigations will unravel for no reason. However, our protagonist thief likes the idea of being notorious too much to let it just go unsolved. He becomes Spring-Heel Jack, he must live up to the legend of leaping heights greater than any man could ever accomplish. He dons the cowl, the cloak, and those famous boots of Spring-Heel Jack.

Basically a superhero movie in many senses, based in a Victorian steampunk setting. This is a screenplay I wish to sell after college.

[Righteous]

Sounds dark and thrilling! I could imagine this being done many different ways.
The thrill of the unknown never goes out of style!

[The Dan Sandwich]

I really am looking forward to reading this!

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

Work in progress. I may incorporate more scenes within the sequence of the First Act to flesh out the environment and universe I created. But to get an idea where the story is about to go, this is what it is so far. Next scene is our first encounter of our thief becoming Spring-Heel Jack. An action scene for the most part minus the leaping ability. We're creating a superhero in Act One of antiheroic aspirations.

EDIT: Im also going to put in something that suggests in childhood WHY he steals

[The Dan Sandwich]

Wow, a really enjoyable read so far. I could really picture the action well. You also have a pretty likable character in Jack so far. I just hope the other characters develop as nicely. So far, so good!

[Fatt_Matt]

Definitely my kind of thing. Great job so far!

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

Alright, I found an interesting selling point while writing. Im thinking of how I want a teaser trailer to go.

My teaser so far...

...It begins and we hear the theme (however the theme is) and the logo of whatever studio distributes it. An old crusty voice narrates -- a voice wise beyond his years:

.......................'Let me tell you a little thing about Spring-Heel Jack.'

...Cut to a slow-motion overhead shot of Spring-Heel Jack leaping high above and far over cobblestone street below to an intense swishing sound.

We now see the dark figure of the old man laughing to himself maniacally.

Cut to various shots of chasing. Thieves running, Detective firing toward a rooftop, and dark figures leaping, never long enough to get the full picture. Laughter continues. Cut to black.

"COMING THIS... WHENEVER"

-----------
So right there I already need the old crusty character to be exactly that and be just as intimidating for the audience who's seen the preview. And awesome action scenes of thievery and chases alike. Features are awesome to write. THIS IS SO FUN!!!

[The Dan Sandwich]

"coming this take your daughter to work day"

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

My friend designed the character model of our Victorian Hero Spring-Heel Jack. I think it came out nicely. Really got it right. The silhouette is distinct enough as a dark figure on the rooftops. It's coming along.

Hey Matt, you should write a theme song haha. Kidding, you dont have to.

[Righteous]

Hey Matt, you should write a theme song haha. Kidding, you dont have to.

Hahaha something batmannish would be awesome!
(not the old "nananana-batman".. the new one)

edit: YouTube- Batman Begins Soundtrack - Molossus

[Fatt_Matt]

My friend designed the character model of our Victorian Hero Spring-Heel Jack. I think it came out nicely. Really got it right. The silhouette is distinct enough as a dark figure on the rooftops. It's coming along.

Hey Matt, you should write a theme song haha. Kidding, you dont have to.

He looks kind of like Ezio from AC-2.

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

More or less. I feel like he looks like Robin Hood or the Gray Fox.

[Fatt_Matt]

Yeah actually Robin Hood is probably more accurate.

[The Dan Sandwich]

Gray Fox FTW.

[Fatt_Matt]

Grey Fox Rules

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

Acts One and most of Two are complete with some polishing and reworking of details. The ending is still on the horizon so elements and characters can change to fit that.
But enjoy so far. My professor said if I can sign on a big name actor for the role or William Wheeler/Spring-Heel Jack this script could make a good 2 million.

[Fatt_Matt]

@_@ Wow, back it high school when I said you were useless I was wrong, I the useless one here if you can write a 2 Million Dollar script.

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

I don't remember you saying I was useless.

[Fatt_Matt]

I can't remember how I worded it but I remember it being insulting in some way, So I apologize. I know I said something unfair to you at some point.

[EDIT] I'm pretty sure now that I said it behind your back which is even worse.

If you become successful it won't be too surprising considering how impressed I've been with your work the last few years.

[Righteous]

Haha, aside from these tearful apologies I think high school is mostly to blame. It brought out the worst in everyone.

Great script so far, Nick! I'm on the 15th or so page and it's getting better and better!
I'll definitely finish reading it today since finals are over.

[Fatt_Matt]

Now that I've actually read a great deal of the script, Its impressive to say the least. Its the first time I've ever read a script, I had wondered how detailed they would be. Now I have my answer!

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

Is it more or less detailed than you imagined? TV spec scripts are even more scarce, but bulk out with excessive dialogue. I try to give a deal of detail for someone to go off of.

[Fatt_Matt]

Far more detailed then I expected!
I'm currently working on a summary of events(Hardly a script really) for mine and my friend diana's comic and its pathetically scarce compared to this.

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

Depends what you're doing with it. Some directors need inspiration within the material, others take the skeleton of the script and go with that imagining every detail for themselves. I figure an original screenplay not really based on anything could use some script direction.

I'd like to see what you have though. Format is easy to fix and I never pay attention to it. Screenwriters who are well known don't give a ♥♥♥♥ about format as long as you can tell dialog from action.

I'll help improve anything you want improved... or not. I dont like to impose my ideas, but I offer them.

[Fatt_Matt]

I may take you up on that, though I'll wait till I introduce all the main characters in the story.

[Dead-Beat-Nick]

First draft. I renamed characters to actual people in the case on Spring-Heel Jack. Within the research I found a bizarre court case that was too absurd to pass up as an ending. But it all makes sense after the restructure. Tell me if you'd rather see scenes in a different way or a different outcome. I'll take things into consideration and if you read through it all I greatly appreciate the effort. It's 92 pages now. Each page is hypothetically read within a minute so it works out to roughly 90 minutes.

Once more I appreciate the feedback thus far you've given.